


breathe your smoke into my lungs

by jadewest



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pining, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 14:59:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5295701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadewest/pseuds/jadewest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Camila has only been high once in her life. She’s never smoked, never accidentally had a brownie with some goods slipped in, and never, ever taken a hit from a bong. No, she got high off of kissing Lauren. Or at least, she thinks that’s what being high feels like.</p>
<p>Or, 'the one where Lauren teaches Camila how to smoke a joint'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	breathe your smoke into my lungs

**Author's Note:**

> x-post from the [fifth harmony ficathon](http://jadewest.livejournal.com/2145.html?thread=64097#t64097). inspired by the prompt _camila wants to get high for the first time, and lauren really likes getting high. she also really likes camila._

Camila has only been high once in her life. She’s never smoked, never accidentally had a brownie with some goods slipped in, and never, ever taken a hit from a bong. No, she got high off of kissing Lauren. Or at least, she thinks that’s what being high feels like.   
  
  
It happened in the X-Factor mansion, the night they were told they made it through to the finals. Tate did a toast where he was the only one drinking, Normani said it was stupid if you didn’t get just a little bit of wine, and Lauren leaned in to whisper (her breath was so hot against Camila’s neck, and she was close enough to just---), “Let’s get out of here.”  
  
And Camila swears she feels like she’s dreaming, or floating, or some strange mix of both.  
  
Every brief touch makes her skin feel like it’s on fire, and for a second, Camila swears Lauren knows, and does everything in her power to make the burning electricity last a bit longer. Every touch she made, every time she leaned against Camila to kiss down her neck, nibble on the tip of her ear, and twirl her hair between her fingers, it’s slow -- she drags it out for as long as possible, making Camila hot in every inch of her body and she swears she’s never wanted to kiss someone so much. Not even Harry Styles.  
  
They’re leaning against the wall of an empty hall for a good five minutes before Lauren finally says something.  
  
“What would you do if I kissed you?”  
  
There’s at least two, maybe three, long beats before Camila replies.  
  
“I don’t know. Try to kiss you back, I guess,” is all she has to offer, and she feels like smacking herself in the face because it’s the least sexy thing she’s ever heard.  
  
But Lauren laughs. And it doesn’t sound like music, the way Camila thinks one of her favorite writers would describe it. It’s a loud, abrupt cackle and for some reason, that’s way better than quiet, jingle sounding giggles. At least to Camila.  
  
“Try?”  
  
“Well, I mean, yeah, I don’t really know what to do with my tongue, and stuff, yanno.”  
  
Lauren smiles, and kicks off the wall across from Camila, and oh god, she’s really close, Camila can smell her breath and prays hers doesn’t smell like pizza and -- “I could teach you.”  
  
Camila swallows and nods, feeling too dizzy to come up with a proper response. Lauren half grins, half smirks, and Camila would hit her for being cocky if she didn’t want to kiss her so badly.  
  
And then it happens.  
  
Lauren’s lips are against hers, and Camila’s not sure what to do at first; her arms are stuck at her side and she stands there, completely stiff, not even parting her lips enough for Lauren to try and keep kissing her. But Lauren steps in, their hips pressed together, and slides her hands up the back of Camila’s shirt, and suddenly, she knows exactly what she’s doing. She opens her mouth for Lauren and she can feel Lauren smiling and that makes Camila smile, and the butterflies in her stomach make her feel like she’s going to throw up, and it’s perfect.  
  
Until it isn’t.  
Camila’s hands are desperately tangling themselves through Lauren’s hair when Lauren pulls back, peeling herself off of Camila.  
  
“We probably shouldn’t do that again,” she says, and before Camila has a chance to question what just happened, Lauren cuts her off with a quick, deliberate: “Don’t tell.”  
  
They don’t talk about it after that.  
  
Camila never forgot, though.

 

\--

 

She’s watched Lauren smoke enough times to have a good idea of what to do, but she still asks for help, anyway.  
  
“You what?”  
  
“I wanna get high.”  
  
Lauren’s brows furrowed, half in confusion, half in surprised amusement. “I thought you didn’t want to smoke? Like, ever.”  
  
“Changed my mind. Can we, or not?”  
  
Lauren looks shocked by how determined is, but mostly endeared, as she holds up a finger, saying ‘one second’, slipping into her hotel room for exactly 45 seconds. Camila can hear the dresser drawer open, and some stuff being thrown around, before Lauren comes back with a small bag of what Camila assumes is weed.  
  
“Well? Come on,” Lauren leans against the door to let Camila through and she hops down on the bed.  
  
“Where’s Normani?” Camila asks, not really interested.  
  
“With the other two, I think they’re swimming, or shopping, or something.”  
  
“Detailed,” Camila deadpans.  
  
Lauren huffs, waving the bag around in Camila’s face. “Do you wanna smoke, or not?”  
  
Camila nods, dragging her fingers across her lips to indicate her zipping them shut. Lauren grins like the Cheshire Cat, and Camila considers telling her she looks crazy, but she figures she’s already tested her luck enough for the moment.  
  
  
  
They’re lying together on the bed by the window, curtains closed, and every window that can be opened, is. Camila watches Lauren’s fingers, clearly experienced, roll a joint to near perfection and Lauren kisses the side of it.  
  
“Watch me, okay? And make sure you don’t breathe out too fast.” Camila nods, only half listening. She receives a smack. “I’m  _serious_ , don’t waste my shit,” Lauren grumbles, before lighting the spliff, and taking a long drag. Camila counts how long she waits before slowly breathing out.  
  
“Easy enough,” Camila says, feeling rather confident in her pot smoking abilities. If Shaggy from Scooby Doo could do it, surely she could.  
  
Lauren raised a brow, but didn’t protest, passing the joint over to Camila.  
  
Camila tries to do exactly what Lauren did, and fails. Miserably. She’s coughing, and practically spits out the smoke the second she inhales it. Lauren thinks this is the funniest thing she’s ever seen.  
  
“Shut up.” Camila grumbled, giving the joint back to Lauren, bringing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, pouting.  
  
“No, no, it’s okay,” Lauren says, trying to comfort her between giggles. “It’s normal. I did that my first time, too. You just have to,” Lauren shifts so she’s closer to Camila, and Camila feels the burning feeling again as Lauren’s arm brushes against hers, “kind of like, force yourself to keep it in. It gets easier, promise.”  
  
Camila nods. Despite laughing at her, Lauren made her feel a bit less self conscious.  
  
“Here,” Lauren drawls, “part your lips, I’ll help.”

Camila lets out a nervous breath, and nods, slightly parting her lips. Lauren stares for at least ten seconds, before briefly shaking her head and leaning in. Lauren’s dangerously close, and Camila feels her mouth get irritatingly dry, as she closes the end of her lips around the joint and breathes in.  
  
“One…two...three...four…five,” Lauren counts aloud, and Camila puffs out, all at once, the second she hits five. Lauren smiles, reassuringly this time. “Nearly.”  
  
They do this about three more times, in between Lauren taking skillful drags and getting higher by the moment. And then Camila gets it. She keeps it in just long enough, making sure to breathe out slowly, taking as much of it in as she possibly can, and Lauren claps like a mentally challenged seal.  
  
“You did it!” She exclaims, taking the joint back from Camila. “So proud of you, Camzi,” Lauren grins, rubbing Camila’s leg, and Camila nearly whimpers at the touch.  
  
Camila may not be high the way Lauren is, at least not yet, but she definitely feels something. Something that she’s trying not to think about until it’s 2 in the morning, tossing and turning in her bed, unable to sleep. Something that makes her grumble as she slides her hands past her pajama bottoms and is up another good 30 minutes.  
  
She watches Lauren more closely than she ever has before. She watches how her lips just barely wrap around the joint as she inhales, she counts the beats before she starts blowing out. She watches Lauren’s fingers tap against the bed, watches as she repeats the entire process another two times.  
  
“Camz?” She asks, shaking Camila out of her trance.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Lauren laughs, and she sounds more carefree than Camila’s ever heard her. “Do you wanna go again?”  
  
Camila takes exactly twenty four seconds to reply. “No. I want to kiss you.” She’s tired of waiting. She’s tired of thinking  _maybe we’ll talk about what happened today_ , or _maybe next week she’ll kiss me again_ , or  _maybe tonight she’ll come in and say she loves me, too_.

Lauren swallows. Long and hard. “Me, too.”  
  
Nothing happens for a good amount of time. Camila swears it’s years before Lauren moves to take another drag from the joint, and she’s sure this is where the saying  _you could cut the tension with a knife_  came from.  
  
She reaches out, and Lauren idly passes the joint back to her, and Camila takes another hit.  
  
“Lauren.  _Lolo_.” Camila says, breaking the long, painful silence.  
  
“Mmm.” Lauren says in reply, not bothering to look over at her. Camila’s stomach twists.  
  
“Please.” This is all she has to offer, but apparently it’s enough, because Lauren looks over at her then, meeting her gaze. She looks cloudy, but Camila can see past it -- she can see Lauren. She looks confused, and kind of scared, and really fucking nervous.  
  
Camila closes the space between them this time, and she has a weird sense of deja vu as she breathes slowly, merely a little over an inch away from Lauren’s face, praying her breath doesn’t smell like pizza. She copies what Lauren said to her that night in the X-Factor mansion. Word by word.  
  
“What would you do if I kissed you?”  
  
To Camila’s surprise, Lauren laughs. “I dunno,” she says, in an annoyingly mocking tone, “try to kiss you back, I guess.”  
  
Camila glares at her, but breaks and laughs anyway, and Lauren puts the practically dead joint in the hotel ashtray and wraps her arms around Camila’s neck, closing the last amount of space between them.  
  
Lauren tastes like smoke and cherry lipgloss, and has the softest lips imaginable. Camila tangles her hands through Lauren’s hair, again, and it’s just like the first time, except Lauren doesn’t pull away. Lauren doesn’t run. Instead, Lauren kisses her harder, and Camila thinks she can almost feel what Lauren’s trying to tell her. As if Lauren was writing words with her tongue, directly into Camila’s mouth. It’s full of  _I’m sorry’s_ , and maybe the hint of an  _I love you too_. Camila isn’t good enough of a kisser to say it back, but she thinks Lauren knows, anyway.  
  
  
  
Kissing Lauren is definitely, absolutely, positively the same as getting high (probably better than, if she was being honest). Except, it doesn’t make you cough so much you feel like you’re going to die.


End file.
